Funny World

☻FRIENDSHIP TEST...
thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe...

☻FRIENDS
True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.

☻F.U.C.K
REMEMBER: if u need a FUCK, u can always count on me bcoz F.U.C.K stands for FRIENDS U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever, & promise me that we FUCK till eternity!

☻ PRICELESS GIFT
FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT To Have An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN GoLd~!

☻SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED
If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

☻ COMPARE
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...

☻FRIENDS 4 LIFE
Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!

☻COMPUTER
A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!

☻FRIENDS ALWAYS
In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!

☻ANGEL FRIENDS
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.

☻OUT OF MY CONTROL
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

☻ MEMORY LASTS FOREVER
A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.

☻ FRIENDSHIP
The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.

☻ NEVER SPLIT
I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet again.

☻NEVER LOSE TRUE FRIENDS
I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose true friends.

☻ WITHOUT A FRIEND LIKE U
EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE reAlisED tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U...

☻ BEHIND YOU
DuRiNg OuR FrIeNdShIp, ThErE wIlL B TiMeS U wOn't SeE Me BeSiDe U, DuN ThInK I LeFt U BeHiNd, I JuSt ChOsE To WaLk BeHiNd U So I CaN CaTcH U WhEn U Fall...

☻ NAKED
GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

☻ MAKING LOVE
After making love, wat r u tryin to say? I love u? Wrong! 1 more time? Wrong. U r so pretty?Wrong. I'm so tired? Wrong! The answer is tissue...tissue...plsss!!!

☻KISS
A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum. what is a kiss without a tongue.

☻PAINTING
A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.

☻FALLING APART
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.

☻HOME EARLY
1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

☻ NEVER LOSE ME!
We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing: YOU WILL NEVER LOSE ME! I will always be there as a friend!

☻BEST FREN
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

☻SHOOTING STARS
The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but really beautiful moments.... Forever engraved in our hearts.... Friends forever~!!!

☻ KEEPING A FRIEND
KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my HEART I swear I'm keeping U..

☻ PROMISE
We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still friends by DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER, that's definitely a lifetime PROMISE!

☻FLOWER
If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden & cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as a friend 4ever!!

☻ A RING
A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be your friend.

☻WONDERFUL FRIEND
There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, dats the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i have in u!

☻WAT U SEE
Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never dies although we may change & drift apart, ill always value u deep within my heart!

☻ FATE 2B FRIENDS
A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will treasure the friendship between us.

☻ WHAT YOU SAY
Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends listen to what you don't say...

☻ FRIENDSHIP MEANS...
I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha

☻ ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU...
Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know they are always there for you...

☻ LEAVING FOOTPRINTS
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

☻AS LONG AS....
As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each day is never a waste.

☻ MY BRA
a gd friend is like a gd bra... hard to find, very comfortable, supportive, and always close to the heart..... HELLO MY GD BRA :)

☻ PRICETAGS
GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags, Because..... if He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!!

☻OLD FRIENDS
Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get BETTER, u get OLDER.

☻ PATH OF FRIENDSHIP
The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have a friend like YOU! :)

☻ NIGHT PRAYER
Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.

☻ABOUT ME
Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends, Charming, Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you?

☻ GOOD TASTE
A phone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection. A picture is a form of remembrance, CHOOSING me as ur FRIEND is a form of.. ehem GOOD TASTE!

☻ BE MY FRIEND
If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you can take the 1st step to get near me and i will take all 99 step to be there for you.

☻ RULES TO BE HAPPY
6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR FRIEND

☻ FRIENDS
Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll always be thankful that once, along my life's journey I found a friend like U...

☻KISS MY ASS
The fluffy clouds may kiss the sky, The rose may kiss the butterfly, The morning dew may kiss the grass,But u my friend can kiss my ass!

☻RING
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....

☻ FRIENDS LIKE HAIR
Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with enough $money$ you can buy them back.

☻NICE FRIENDS
A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams...


☻FRIENDSHIP IS....
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!

☻SEX
SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U'll enjoy it! I'll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday, gd for u.

☻SEX ON TEXT
Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!

☻YOU ARE WANTED
The Police are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty & very good looking... So where are you gonna hide Me?
☻TALKING DIRTY
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.

☻LOVE AND SEX
Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
☻SEX IS ...
Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman's destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!
☻GIVE ME ALL YOUR $$$
MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOME. can buy a clock, but not TIME. can buy sex, but not LOVE. So pass me all ur $ n let me suffer 4 U
☻NIGHT PRAYER
Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.
☻WHAT I NEED
I need a hug, I need touch, I need tender, I need a kiss, I need love, I need sex, I need you!
☻WRONG NUMBER
U've got SEX APPEAL ... U've got INTELLIGENCE ... U've got CLASS ... U got da FACE, U got da BODY ... I got the wrong number ... SORRY
☻NO SEX !
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
☻PHONE ENGAGE
hey! what happen 2 your hp? tried calling alot of times. everytime i dial your no, operator kept sayin 'THE SUBSCRIBER U CALLING IS HAVING SEX, PLS TRY LATER'

☻KENTUCKEY A woman is like a kentuckey friedchicken, it has legs ,breasts and a greasy box to stick your bone in.
☻TWINKLE LITTLE STAR Twinkle, twinkle little rectum bigcockscum when you least expect them, never mind the screams of passion whoop it up with doggy fashion.
☻OLD MANThere was an old man from gosham,who got out his bollocks to wash'em,His wife said oh jack if you don't put'em back,i'll stand on the bastards and squash em!!!(new)
☻ARSE ICONS
(_!_)
Regular arse
(__!__)
Fat arse
(!)
Tight arse
(_*_)
Sore arse
(_o_)
Well used arse
(_e=mc2_)
Smart arse
(_x_)
Kiss my arse
☻FAMILYyour father had your mother,your mother had your brother,it's just 2 bad your fathers mad andyour mothers now your lover
☻GUY PERIODIf guys had they periods They wouldcompare the size of their tampons!
☻DEMONSTRATIONSex is when a guyscommunication enters a girls information to increase the population for a younger generation do you get the nformation...or do you need a demonstration
☻SEX IS EVILSex is evil Evil is sin Sin is forgiven So stick it in.
☻VIRGINSmoke a smoke Not a buttFuck a virgin Not a slut.
☻GUYS Guys are like roses,Watch out for the pricks.
☻cOOL GIRLIm acool girl,in acool town it takes a real mother fucker to put me down
☻HOT SEXThere is Hot-sex,Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !

☻WOMENS NEEDSThere are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in hercloset, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!

☻SICK LEAVEA guycall into work and says: Boss Ican´tcome to work to day, I´m sick.Boss asks: How sick are you? The guy says: I´m fucking my sister how sick is that?

☻BRAND SEXSex is like nokia -connecting people like Nike -just do it Like Pepsi -ask for more Like Samsung -everyone is invated and like me -TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!

☻VALANTINERoses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell happend to you?
☻F**KING MAFIA Licking pussy is like playing with the mafia... One wrong move and you are in DEEP SHIT!!!!

☻THE BUSHWhen an apple is green it's ready to pluckWhen a girl is sixteen she's ready to fuck!
☻The Alpahbeta-ur attractive b-ur beautiful c-urcaring d-ur delicous e-ur exciting f-ur funny g-ur gorgeoush-ur heavenly I-IM J-JUST K-KIDDING L-LOSER!
☻Luv is a sensationLuv is a sensation dat iscaused by temptation,a boy puts his location in a girls destination,do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?

☻Good SexSex is good,sex is fine,doggy style or 69,just for fun or getting paid,everyone likes getting laid!

☻Equation Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract urclothes, divide your legs and wecan multiply!

☻Sex Guide Bak 2 bak,front 2 front,on d table,lick dcunt,stick it in,do ur ting,do it hard & make her sing,tense ur body feel dcum,den let it rip into her bum!

☻Luv me tender Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch & smile,watch me grin,watch thecum drip down mychin!

☻Life as a penis5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur entire life 2)both ur naybors r nutz 3)an arsehole lives b’hind u 4)ur bestm8s acunt 5)wen xcited u throw up den faint!

☻Pregnant Sex is real evil,sex is a sin,moaning and groaning as he slides slowly in,itcant last 4eva,I no it’s a shame,dat 1 night of passion leads to 9months of pain!

☻Flying FuckIll fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I had wings Id fuck you flying,if you were dead,your not forgotten,ill dig you up and fuck you rotten!

☻Beat MeBeat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make mecum, suck me fuck me and lick me out,then tickle my nipples until I shout!

☻£50 note tattood on yourcock3 advantages of gettin a £50 note tattood on urcock:

1- Ucan play wiv ur money, 2- Ucan see ur money grow 3- Ur girlcan blow as much money as she wants

☻Bastard Rubber D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to hell wiv u,D baby is a bastard,D mother is a whore,Nun of dis wood av happened if d rubber hadnt tore!

☻Nice Arse I like your style, I like yourclass, but most of all i like your arse!

☻Cat & Rooster cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Rooster starts laughin,Moral of d story?..Wen ever theres a happycock theres a wet pussy!

☻Love poem Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!

☻Bonna There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like another?

☻Cocktail Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes ucum!

☻Triplets or Twins I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!

☻How to satisfy a woman HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job ☻Life is like a dickLife is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!

☻Rainbow Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!

☻Love & War LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!

☻Little Girl When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace &charm,Ican get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!

☻Virginity is like a balloon Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!

☻Question Time Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall? A)walnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on urchest? A)chestnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on urchin? A)a mouth full ofcock!

☻The Truth QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend? ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!!

☻PringlesSex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, youcan't stop!!

☻MarriageA man woz arranged 2 b married!He had achoice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poorcleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits! ☻Getting Old U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF 1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long 2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo
☻Baby Please Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my teeth areclean for ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
☻HOW MANY ANIMALScAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish!
☻Sex+drugs+rock+raveSex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed +little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u die,so fuck em all & lets get high! ☻Men like toilets
Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)deyconsume large amounts of liquid 5)rconstantlt full of shit!

☻Mary's bush
Mary Mary, quitecontrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!

☻Horny
Roses are red, voilets arecorny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!

☻5 bad things to say to a naked guy
5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains urcar! 2)but still work,right? 3)r ucold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!
☻Hickory, dickory, dock Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin mecock,daclock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block!
☻Mary had a little lamb Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen she took her panties off,his wooly dick got hard!

☻Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked her twice around da head, F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!
☻Being a student Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate in hot oral sex!

☻Down on her Knees
Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jellycos shes doin a fuckin good job!

☻Cat and the Sausage
Acat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river,but gets its paws wet,then it sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!
☻Oral sex Oral sexcan b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den ucum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!

☻Mary's bike
Mary had a little bike,she rode it bak 2 front,all the time the wheels went round the spokes went up hercunt
☻Rhymea mans ocupation is to stick hiscockulation up a wommens ventulation to increase the population of the younger generation if u want a demonstation plz lie down! ☻NewsFlash*NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that ican get 1000 tampons for ?1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !

☻Nutella I love when you stick your little fingers in me deep and lick it all . Love always , Nutella.

☻U and the Popedo u know what's the diference between U geting laid, and the pope geting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get laid, its a miracle!! :)

☻DurexDo you wan't fun Do you wan't sex Don't forget durex

☻Old Daysin days of old wen knights were bold +condoms wernt invented they tied socks around theircocks + people like u were prevented.

☻Sex, Drugs + BirthcontrolSex, Drugs, Rock and RollSpeed, weed and birthcontrol,lifes a bitch, then u die,so fuck the worldlets get high..

☻Kiss Me Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!

☻How many lettersHow many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!

☻My Roof? last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is my roof??

☻Foot and Mouth mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field right nowcos its got foot and mouth

☻BlondesWhat is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? Some traffic signs say stop

☻Operator This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you

☻Blonde Womens legswhat did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens right leg? don't know they never met!

☻This Way UpPleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry370HSSV 0773H

☻I love youThis time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say iti i l i lo i lov i lovei love y i love yoi love young girls with Shaven Pussys!

☻Mary's LambsMary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and Gypsy. One day they got foot and mouth and now they're black andcrispy.

☻SheepGroup of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The others reply shut the fuck up your get us all shot.

☻Butter Your teeth are so yellow, ican't believe it's not butter!!!

☻Condom factoryYour birthcertificate is an apology letter from thecondom factory.

☻Yo MamaYo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.

☻Mary Stinks Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark ascharcoal.So most the men go round the back and stick it up her arsehole!

☻Mary's Duckmary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put them on the mantlepiece to see if they would fuck!

☻Tamponswhats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle tampon and a large tampon?....they r all stuck upcunts!

☻Sex is like Maths sex is like maths: Add the bed, subtractclothes, divide the legs... and MULTIPLY!

☻Suspensehow do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!! ☻Statistics At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this SMS

☻Farmer Joneshas farmer Joneshas got no sheep,isn't life a drag?coz they're all burning in a fieldhe's got no sheep to shag

☻Gary Gliter *Newsflash*The FA have just announced gary gliter the next Englandcoach.The appontmentcollapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's

☻Ba Ba White Sheep ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4 kebabs & shepherds pie

☻News Flash - Indian Earthquake !!News flash!!Indian earthquake kills 50 000!USA sending food. Australia sendingclothes. britain sending ... ... ... Replacements

☻Leather Heather there was a young girlcalled heather,whoscunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together

☻Little Miss Drugy little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alongcame a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.

☻Jack and Jill Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER

☻IRA what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you runcause he's got a grenade in his mouth

☻Dear Mammy love annie There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.
☻Cock Sucker DetecotorThis is acock sucker detector Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning.... The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...cOCK SUCKER !!

☻Pink Vagina Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex? A pink rose with loveley details. And after sex?Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?

☻Red Riding Hood Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so ican suck your tits. No she said lifting her skirt. Eat me like the fucking book says!

☻Fuck for money sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money
☻Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch & smile,watch me grin,watch thecum drip down mychin!

☻5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur entire life 2)both ur naybors r nutz 3)an arsehole lives b'hind u 4)ur bestm8s acunt 5)wen xcited u throw up den faint!

☻Sex is real evil,sex is a sin,moaning and groaning as he slides slowly in,itcant last 4eva,I no it's a shame,dat 1 night of passion leads to 9months of pain!

☻Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I had wings Id fuck you flying,if you were dead,your not forgotten,ill dig you up and fuck you rotten!

☻Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make mecum, suck me fuck me and lick me out,then tickle my nipples until I shout!

☻3 advantages of gettin a £50 note tattood on urcock: 1- Ucan play wiv ur money, 2- Ucan see ur money grow 3- Ur girlcan blow as much money as she wants

☻D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to hell wiv u,D baby is a bastard,D mother is a whore,Nun of dis wood av happened if d rubber hadnt tore!

☻I like your style, I like yourclass, but most of all i like your arse!

☻Cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Rooster starts laughin,Moral of d story?..Wen ever theres a happycock theres a wet pussy!

☻Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!

☻There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like another?

☻Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes ucum!

☻I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!

☻HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job

☻Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!

☻Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!

☻LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!

☻When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace &charm,Ican get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!

☻Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!
☻There was a young girlcalled heather,whoscunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together

☻little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alongcame a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed .

☻Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER

☻what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you runcause he's got a grenade in his mouth

☻There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.
☻This is acock sucker detector Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning.... The test was positive 90percent sperm breath... COCK SUCKER !!

☻Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex? A pink rose with loveley details. And after sex? Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?

☻Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so ican suck your tits. No she said lifting her skirt. Eat me like the fucking book says!

☻sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money
☻What sexual position do you have to be in to make the most ugliest kid?…. ask your parents
☻What 2 things in the air can make a girl pregnant? HER FEET
☻A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"
☻Wots da closest thing to a womans period? ur salary! It cums once a month.lasts About 3 or 4 days & if it doesnt cum every1s in trouble!
☻Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok"
☻Virginity is like a balloon one prick and it's gone forever!
☻Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop you can't stop!!

☻YOUR SMILE
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
☻ WHO YOU ARE
I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
☻ I'M STILL ALIVE...
TaLk 2 me wHen i'm boReD, kiSS me wHen i'm saD, hug me wHen i cRy, caRe 4 me wHen i diE, loVe me When i'm sTill Alive...

☻ IN LOVE WITH YOU
It is not being in love that makes me happy... but is being in love with YOU that makes me happy.

☻ TRULY LOVE
It’s hard to find someone whom you truly love, much less to find someone who loves you as much. When the chance comes, don't ever let go.

☻ CHERSH...
Cherish the person you love, never tell lies or attempt to hurt them because you won't know how important they are until they are out of your life...

☻POEM OR RHYME?
Who cares whether this is a poem or rhyme, I will love you until the end of time...

☻ 2NITE WITH ME
A sMiLe tO pUt You On HiGh... A KisS To Set YoUr SouL ALriGhT... WouLd iT bE aLriGhT iF I spEnT ToNiTe BeiNg LovED bY YoU???

☻LOVE YOU
Never WasTe an OppOrtuniTy 2 sAy 'I LoVe U' to Someone u ReaLLy Like, Coz it is noT EvEryDaY u'll mEEt tHe PerSoN WhO hAs tHe MaGic 2 lEt u fAll iN love...

☻ TRUE LOVE
True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.

☻ FRIENDS 4 LIFE
Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!

☻: FIRST SIGHT
FiRsT NiTe, FiRsT SiGhT, I SaW, I KnEw, LoVe's SwEEtEr ThAn MoUnTaiN DeW, A pRoMiSe I mAdE and' WiLL kEEp, 2 LoVe YOU aLwAys~

☻ VALUE OF LOVE
LovE is Not HoW LonG U've BeeN 2gEthEr; nOt HoW MucH U've GIvEn oR RecEivE; Not hOw MaNy TimEs U've HeLpEd EaCh OthEr --- Its HoW U VALUE EaCh OtHEr...

☻: STILL LOVING U
i håtê SmîîÑg jûSt tO prEtêñD î'M ñOt hUrt. î hÅtE to gîGglê tO Show î'll ßê okåY. î hAtE tO laUgh aFtEr î Cry. í Stìll lovE YOU ßût í'Vé tó SaY gooDbYê...

☻ NEVER REGRET WHAT YOU DO
Don't regret what you've did, but regret what you never did, go and say 'I LOVE U' to your loved one!

☻ LOVE IS SO CONFUSING
Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to live?

☻ REALITY
Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep, Because Reality Is Better Than A Dream.

☻WHY IS HE NOT MINE...
wOrLd iS cRueL, LoVe iS bLinD. LoSt iN sAdnEsS, BluR In miND. HeArT iS bRoKeN, fLaMe hAd DiEd. TiMe HaS pAsSeD bUt wHy iS hE... sTiLL nOt mInE...

☻ NOT TOO YOUNG
No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age.

☻ I FOUND U
Love is like a cloud... love is like a dream... love is 1 word and everything in between... love is a fairytale come true... Coz I found love when I found U.

☻ IT HURTS
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what hurts more is to love someone, and never find the courage to let them know how you feel.

☻ FORGET YOU
It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

☻ IT NEVER SEEMS TO LAST
I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last.

☻ FALL IN LOVE
People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in love all over again

☻ LOVE IS TO THINK
Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think about yourself.

☻IN LOVE WITH YOU
There are times when I fall in love with someone new, but I always seem to find myself back in love with you.

☻: SOMEONE ELSE
The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one u love, love someone else.

☻ OUT OF MY CONTROL
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

☻ HEART TO CIRCLE
Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.

☻: WHO
I'd rather be hated for who I am then be loved for who I'm not
☻ TRY TO FORGET
Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

☻ ADVICE ON LIVING
Dance like no one's watching; sing like no one's listening; love like you can't get hurt, and live like there's no tomorrow.

☻ QUICKSAND
LoVe iS LiKe QuiCkSanD - ThE DeEpEr yOu FaLL iN iT ThE HaRdeR iT iS tO GeT OuT.

☻ IN MY ARMS
You showed me how it is to be loved. Now I know what really love is. 1 day we will be together forever. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again.

☻ WHAT IS TRUE
There's a warmth in my heart. It haunts me when U R gone. Mend me 2 ur side and never let go. The more I live The more I know, wat's simple is true, I love you.

☻ FLAME OF YOURS
I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I LOVE YOU!
☻ If love were to be taxed,I would be the highest tax payer.

☻you can't buy Love... but you can pay heavily.

☻Common sense is common, but... the use of common sense is uncommon !!!!

☻Promises are like babies, easy to give hard to deliver.

☻You need Money to call someone Honey.

☻My girlfriend told me, I should be more Affectionate, so i got two Girlfriends.

☻We can see more Grafitti's in girls toilet , WHY ?Because their both hands are free.

☻Definitions :Home : A place where you can scratch where it itches.

Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills, and kills by his bills.

LOVE : Loss Of Valuable Energy

WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever